I was only out of the country once in the last few years. I'm pretty sure everyone had a secret meeting while I was gone and is now just fucking with me.

"Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense."

That's gotta be the dumbest thing on Twitter I've seen all day….you know, except for the president of the United States criticizing his former opponent and her daughter while seeming to admit he gave away the country.

How about a StandUp AVClub?
Not for aspiring commenters. But because most of us are lazy and sit at our computers for way too long.

How dare you!

Jay-Z in AZ? That shit's crazy!

If I've said it once, I've said it 1,000 times. SpiderBabe is the best Spider-Man porn.

According to the suit, no such negotiations ever happened, and now, Dion is seeking general damages “in excess of $1 million”

I can't tell if you used the term goalposts in a story about a sports channel as an intended pun.

Walt Disney and Breitbart do share some similar views.

Breitbart hates ESPN too because of liberal anchors. They blamed ESPN's recent slate of layoffs on viewers ditching them because they were too liberal. So when ESPN and Jon Stewart combine, it's Breitbart's version of "two things."

Anyone remember when the future president launched an antisemitic tirade against him by continually calling him Jonathan Leibowitz on Twitter?
I miss those days.

She shook his hand after the cut.

Those 2 steps are how I try to live my life. But age is making part 1 harder.

The AV Club

He is like us! The other day when I passed by a family that was clearly struggling financially, I tried to figure out how to get rid of their Medicaid.

Ha! That's what earth bound Jesus always says to me before I masturbate.

I wish I was 20 again.

Tucker Carlson gives you a dumb confused look.

Congrats Joel and Michael!