I always appreciate a new way to tell how old the spices in my mother-in-law’s kitchen cabinet are.

The name change is just an elaborate scheme to hide from creditors. The next step is a fake train derailment that blows up the town. “Glendale? They all blew up. Terrible, just terrible. Now welcome to Swift City!”

If this guy thinks boneless wings are bad, imagine his reaction when he finds out that they make fake meat wings.

Zola is trying to tell the keepers at Dallas Zoo that it wants a jacuzzi, not a plastic tub.

“As God as my witness, I thought buffaloes could fly...”

Oscar Isaac don’t know Vonnegut.

RIP you crazy (acquitted) murderer...

I was under the impression that boneless wings came from chickens with no bones in their wings.

For a second I thought maybe they were rebooting the TV series.

This product’s name suddenly makes sense to me.

Excuse me. This popcorn chicken contains 0% popcorn. I demand satisfaction!

Nope.

“Halim’s claim is that he suffered financial injury because if he’d known this fact about the “wings” prior to purchase, he wouldn’t have bothered buying them, at least not at the price he paid for them.”

Yes, but you have to get very close to see them.

Do buffalos have wings?

Maybe we all take a deep breath, America, ‘cause I ain’t never seen a buffalo flying in the first place yet. The whole thing is a cockamamie ontological mess, just eat your confusingly named chicken bits and be goddamned happy.

“I thought it was boneless white meat chicken. Turns out, it was boneless white meat chicken. Give me money, please!”

Gilbert Gottfried is probably the most glaring omission. I mean, they all are to some extent, but he’s by far the biggest name they missed.

I thought it was a rather limp response myself.

They thought long and hard about their response. Such upstanding folk.