It’s not like I expect graduate-level calculus skills here, but come on, even Sam “On My Third Liver” Barsanti has to know that 50,000 isn’t half a million.

Alec Get Your Gun

Say, that’s a good idea. I bet he would kill on Broadway!

“I got fired from another job yesterday,” he says. “There I was all set to go to a movie, jump on a plane ... I’ve been talking with these guys for months and they told me yesterday we don’t want to do the film with you because of this... There is just this torrent of people attacking me who don’t know the facts.”

It seems a lot of restaurants in my area have started telling people when they stop seating, not when they close the doors, which I think is a good compromise. It makes a lot of sense to me.

On the “I want it fresh slide”, you say; “But it’ll be made with spite, not love.”

At the last major retailer I worked for we were finally starting to track the serial complainers. The people who just thought if they talked to the manager they could get the months old coupon or other things like that.

“It’s a simple and uncomplicated process”

If you’d ever worked in foodservice and not just played at it on the Internet, you’d know “if you can lean, you can clean” is a VERY salient point.

“Are we having fun yet?”, is a quote from the Bill Griffith’s comic strip ”Zippy the Pinhead”. It is meant to be a sarcastic way of saying “this sucks”

This is a Funeral Home sir, not a Wendy’s.

You’re right, low wages are just one piece of the puzzle, but I think it’s the single biggest factor. My last two employers both said I had topped out the pay scale after only three years and I wasn’t going to see anything more than token raises in the future. Not hard to see why one of them is no longer in business…

Another cursed phrase that has to go away: “start slideshow.”

I never thought of that. There was one place I asked for them unsalted because they put too much salt on them and when I asked for them “light on the salt,” they still tasted like potato flavored salt. So I ordered them unsalted in that one place and salt them myself, which isn’t as good since salt sticks best to…

“The customer is always right” transcends food service into retail in general. We all know that the underlying intent of the phrase is to make customers happy. Absolutely, and for any business hoping to succeed, makes perfect sense. But we also know that way too many customers are fucking assholes. And it should be a…

The one I hate most is when a coworker will want his fries unsalted. He isn’t doing it because he wants them unsalted, he does it because he wants to make sure the fries are fresh out of the fryer. 

1. 9 times out of 10 if someone says “please make it fresh” it’s because that person got nasty food that was rubbery, dry and old that sat under a heat lamp in the past, and when you pay $12+ for fast food these days, you want at least some semblance of your money’s worth . How many times have I paid more than one…

But it’ll be made with spite, not love.

“How late are you open?”

“The customer is always right.”