How cynical can you be that you dislike a yearly program featuring adorable puppies playing with toys that helps raise money for animal rescue?

I can help you get those torches and pitchforks in bulk.

Bless Bernard Black. Constantly hungover and grouchy, yet still with impeccable grammar.

Who does this guy think he is, Luke Skywalker?

BUT I AM A MENZ. I AM OWED SEX. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET WHAT I AM OWED WITHOUT A MANUAL EXPLAINING HOW TO STEAL IT LIKE JAN VALJEAN STEALING SO MANY LOAVES OF BREAD?

Publishing something doesn't mean anything anymore. It used to mostly be a mark of prestige that your work was compelling and good enough in terms of style and content that it was selected to be published.

There's an app/website for Girl Scout cookie alerts that I really enjoy this time of year. It's called Cookie Locator: http://cookielocator.littlebrownie.com It works for troops who register their sales with Little Brownie Bakers.

If this means I can FINALLY get some Thin Mints this year, awesome sauce (my neighbor's holding out on me the past two years-I swear, I'm gonna find another adorable little girl to buy from...ah who am I kidding...)

I usually sneak out of work at lunch to buy boxes so that I miss the afternoon rush. Bwah ha ha!!!!!

I have a chronic case of the pregnants and now I'm finding out that because stupid people are stupid there are going to be MORE COOKIES FOR ME. This is a good day. This is a very good day.

I predict more that their resolve won't hold. No one can resist samoas and thin mints. You can't even resist eating the whole sleeve at once, for crying out loud.

You can also go to your local gathering place and buys cookies there.

This is glamgeek's first year as a Girl Scout, and we are most excited to be selling cookies. In other news, my pants are less than excited about all of these cookies.

Exactamundo.

You took the words right out of my fingers!

MORE SAMOAS FOR ME BITCHES.

Endorsed by Bill O'Reilly!

Dear Powers that Be at Jezebel: