0.50 cents and let them make the rest of it up in tips. Bwahahahaha!

Right??

do you really want to pay a little more for a burger so that an adult doesn't have to work two jobs to support their family?

I'm only 5'7" and all my pants are about an inch or two inches too short, but finding "talls" is near impossible and then they're too long! It's like guys, I'm NOT EVEN THAT TALL! US pants sizes suck.

Bigger sizes get wider, not longer and it is THE WORST. Why is this large the same length as the extra small? Imma need retailers to get it together.

I'm 6' tall and paranoid as hell because it makes me stick out like a sore thumb.

Not Actually Short.

Appetite for Communion

"Bush knocked down the towers" is a line from Immortal Technique's "Bin Laden," sampled from Jadakiss's "Why?"

Actually, Hitler would've been well advised to follow Phyllis's lead. Invading the USSR during winter was, as it turned out, a really stupid idea.

Did you get your $10,000 bounty up front, or is Jezebel sending the check in the mail?

I hate her because she's racist. But I suppose her flabby body is supposed to make up for that? Sorry I don't care that she makes other mediocre fat white women feel good about themselves but I actively dislike racists seeing as I have to put up with her 'hilarious' hipster racism all the time in my day to day life.

Actually I actively dislike her because she's an unrepentant racist who thinks its funny to mock non-white people:

If you try to take Nathan Fillion away from us...

Ah yes. That's what that hashtag was accomplishing...

Can we NOT with "spirit animal"? It's so far from okay. :(

Two notes from London — first, Only Fools and Horses is FUCKING BRILLIANT; second, "suspenders" are very much NOT the same thing here. Suspenders are the things ladies wear to hold up their stockings, like in this picture I stole off the internet just now: