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Swimming already does this.

I once ordered a double espresso at a Starbucks. The barista looked at me blankly and asked, “but what do you want in it?”

“Just the espresso. Two shots.”

“Ooooohhhh... so just the caffeine part?”

Love me a white Lambo. (No idea why my pics aren’t showing up)

In Maui, you can’t own anything even remotely snobby or else all the locals will constantly scream at you to “GO BACK TO WAILEA!” (I know this from experience driving my dad’s SL55 on Maui).

And there’s NO point in getting anything fast. Speed limits are 45mph max unless you’re on like one road that goes by the local…

The Marv Levy “You’re Dead Wrong” rant is still my all time favorite.

I dig the bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce hidden up at the top.  That is the best damn hot sauce ever and it’s 79 cents a bottle.

Yeah, if some black folks tell my white ass I shouldn’t say certain words, I’m gonna just go ahead and listen. It’s certainly not difficult to censor myself. Not nearly as difficult as it is being a black person in this racist as shit country.

This is the correct answer.

And I refuse to distinguish between seltzer water and sparkling mineral water.  It’s fizzy water, shut up.

This is the correct answer.

And I refuse to distinguish between seltzer water and sparkling mineral water.  It’s…

I have family in Minnesota.

I don’t speak to them because they’re insufferable evangelical cunt-bags that disowned my mom because she moved to California.

They’re all Vikings fans.

That’s Drew’s best Russell Wilson line since calling him “Bruno Mars.”

I voted for Bernie in the primaries and Hillary in the general. I liked Bernie a lot.

But he did accept campaign donations from Russia, donations Russian made with the intention of derailing the DNC side of the election. Also, he and his wife are currently under federal investigation for bank fraud, and Bernie signed…

You’re using a lot of energy defending an obvious shithead.

Kaep, given the right coaching and system, can be goddamned mind blowing.

I’m just here to say that the grill pictured above appears to be a 26" Weber Kettle. Which is the single greatest outdoor cooking device ever built.

Stone Cold was the best. Shit, he still is.

That stupid longhair in the Hobbit abortions killed a bigger dragon with one arrow whilst using his kid as a whisker biscuit.