it gets worse. Im 46 and the days of legit drinking i engage in a year is down to 2 or 3. I eat very, very carefully, i went vegetarian, i installed a gym in my garage that i use 3-4x/week, i hike/camp, i drink lots of water. All of this and i am still mostly decrepit. I woke up not long ago, came to walk downstairs…

Your lower back hurts because your hamstrings are tight. Possibly.

Could be worse. Donald Trump could be president right now.

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

But of course. All culinary roads lead to Flushing.

I knew all of them. Get you a nerd who can do both.*

I want to find the person or personages responsible for the Dilly Dilly commercials, stuff them in to a sack of rabid raccoons, and throw the whole bag in to the Chicago River. FUCK those commercials.

I think I’m going to do it for the game this year since I won’t have my kids. I’ll just have to label them well since not everyone that will be here partakes.

Man I wouldn’t have even thought to bring something like the Switch into school. Even playing it at lunch would have gotten it taken away for the semester and probably would have meant in school suspension for at least a couple days. I think 2 or 3 Gameboys got taken away one year.

Delilah’s? Where I once watched most of Cruising over someone’s shoulder at a birthday party?

“I’m a Jew in rural Kansas”

Consulting. Next question.

Reminds me that I have to make a favorite that I haven’t had in a long time: Popcorn popped in duck fat, sprinkled with a bit of creole seasoning.

All of Trump’s Wives: He Cheats Like Hell.

Whatever you do, be careful not to accidentally buy jalapenos like I did.

Well at least Rose was on an expiring contact when the Knicks got him.

The problem is that you still don’t really get what sports fandom is. You root for a team because it’s YOUR team, and it will always be YOUR team.

I winced when I read you visited The 13th Step.

You left out two other important types of Brooklyn people: