I had to take a class and pass a test to get licensed.

i give you Exhibit A...

wonder where he learned it

You know the best part about any article which mentions NFL ratings being down? The absolute torrent of commenters who can’t wait to tell everyone how they’re such upstanding people they hardly ever watch football at all anymore and how their lives are better off for it. It’s like the Onion’s “Man Can’t Stop Talking…

Take my money! Will there be vampire kittens too?

:

is this similar to milk steak?

My tip: stop using pre-ground cinnamon (or any spice for that matter). Buy a mortar and pestle and start grinding your own spices.

Or a clumsy proctologist

JNCO or bust. Worked really well if you had a pair of Lugz to go with them.

Who the hell is taking all of these pictures of the Albany skyline?

I didn’t “feel unified” the night of 9-11-01, because I was paralyzed and silent while quietly wondering if my uncle was alive and not wanting to ask my parents because I figured if they knew, they’d tell me.

The problem here is you fucking started Joe Flacco in fantasy. He may be borderline elite in real life, but he is ass in fantasy.

As a lifelong Jets fan, I call days like this “Sunday.”

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

If planning and executing a week of flavorful, healthy meals makes one an Adequate Man, I’m obviously floundering somewhere between dust bunny and weaponized fuck up on the male adequacy scale.

Wait, your mother traveled for Yuengling? It’s a good cheap beer, but it’s still a cheap beer. It’s Pottsville Blue Ribbon, more or less.

Seriously. That’s basically telling everyone about your hot model girlfriend that goes to another school. “You wouldn’t know her.”

HEADS UP, SPINNERS: as what I can only assume is a huge fluke caused by the great kinja-ing of summer 2016, I have just been followed by almost all of the Deadspin properties. I am entirely ignorant in matters of sports ball and my opinions should be immediately dismissed. You have been warned.