There’s a very large list of world leaders who SHOULD tell Trump to fuck off.

I know exactly how to stay monogamous in a partially long-distance relationship: Don’t become romantically involved with other people.

Asked what would constitute a “clear indication,” McTurtle replied, “Well, firing Mueller would be a clear indication.”

Respectfully, Senator Blobfish, Facebook is a private company and can censor whatever-the-fuck it wants. If you don’t like it, choose a different option from the free market.

Yeah, ketchup is fine for most regular fries, but it’s just wrong for sweet potato.

what did you do...

This is the main thing that gets me; that Hannity will be able to claim a “victory” over this.

Those private prisons aren’t going to fill themselves.

I’m kinda curious how he connected “First Nation people protesting a racist caricature” with Marx and Trotsky. Something tells me dude took—and passed with a C/D—a single Philosophy course at college before failing the fuck out due to lack of aptitude.

Watching Indians fans file into the Jake is like watching a COPS greatest hits marathon.

You think the U.S. Military is going to stay on those bases when you’re not part of the U.S. anymore?

Nah. If someone offers you a Devil’s bargain where you can receive help in exchange for making someone else’s life worse, you would be an asshole to accept it. I have no sympathy for someone claiming “I didn’t care about the racism or the pussy-grabbing, but he was supposed to help my white-trash ass with my payday…

I kinda like it. It’s Wesley in Demolition Man over here!

No, that’s not how it works. You’re not empowering them to do things on your behalf without your knowledge. They have an ethical obligation to keep you informed about a matter. That would include them binding you to a non-disclosure agreement. Any lawyer not wanting to get brought up on ethics charges would obtain the…

Wasn’t Edward’s most infamous moment when they found out he used his insider knowledge as a royal to get a camera crew to St. Andrews to creep his nephew’s first week of university?

Mueller’s investigation has been hermetically sealed throughout. A grain of salt is needed. Maybe Trump rage tweets got to the Washington Post. That yuge Amazon Web Services contract and prospective second headquarters location could be in play. “Anywhere but Chicago is fine and preferably near my properties, Jeff.” -…

There is nothing routine about a hip replacement in a 96 YO man. This type of thing in someone of his age generally does not end well, or at least accelerates the inevitable. So many complications can arise, he already has a heart issue, and in most cases the surgery would be contraindicated in a man his age.

Why is it that so many people don’t seem to realize that being against the actions of the Israeli government (the group of individuals that run the country of Israel) is not the same as being anti-semitic (hating people because they are Jewish by either race, religion, or both)?

This is far too true to be sarcasm.

Texas is Cruzing for a bluesing