Yep, I’d include that under “gender roles and expectations.” It includes more women taking on the role of wage-earner and being able to support themselves.

This is a popular scapegoat issue, but I disagree. Throughout my 20s and 30s, most of the relationships that I have seen fall apart, including my own, have not involved third parties or roving eyes. And even in those that did, there was always a larger underlying problem anyway. I think the more relevant cultural…

See “family man.” Nobody ever calls anyone a “family woman” because a) it’s a minimum expectation for all women, and b) we have plenty of words for the opposite.

Dave Grohl seems to be doing ok?

Bill Cosby.

Thanks. The TMZ photos showed surprisingly regular-looking people, which makes me feel bad for them. I was hoping for triangle tops with fringe and flower crowns.

Two questions:

I have no idea why Mary J. Blige isn’t a bigger deal than she is. Actually, I do—I guess she just hasn’t marketed herself in the way some others have. Her voice is on par with Aretha Franklin in her hey, and leaves Beyonce in the dust. As a singer I can think of a few people as good as she is, but no one better.

I’d say the same thing about war movies, even if they are theoretically anti-war. There’s always a machismo and allure to the characters and the violence, and it pisses me off that filmmakers seem to have figured out how to deliver glory to those who want it, and dissent to those who want it, within the same movies.

It occurs to me, too, that even though they did surely get many warnings and have many options to start resolving this in a less catastrophic way, they may have actively decided to bring on the catastrophe to serve their reality show.

“Don’t.” But she still denies they ever even dated.

To get very rational with yourself, think of it this way: even if something were to happen, he has friends and family to help and support him. They are the appropriate people to be involved in that hypothetical situation, not you (anymore).

And actually, looking closely at her crown it looks like the roots are straighter than the rest. This may be a perm from pre-racial reveal that is now growing out.

Great point about Anonymous. Do they have a suggestion box somewhere?

I am a Pennsylvania resident who can’t get through even to a voicemail box for Pat Toomey. Does anyone know what I should do?

“Smile skinnily.” This is so helpful.

Right? If *your behavior* doesn’t reflect who you are, then what does?

Yes, please! I would totally write to you. (Is this what you meant? I’ll dismiss your answer immediately...)

Thank you so much for those links. I am putting them to use today! No kids, thank God, but thanks for all your advice.

What a horrendous story. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I, too, moved for my husband. I plan to stay for the time being, but.