That kinda goes against the Gawker narrative, but ok.

How else would you feel better about yourself if not by watching others fail and judging them for it?

So, what then, she thinks she gave $600 to a stranger’s child?

Girls are cute when they get angry.

Yeah, take this shit over to Gawker.

It’s a Toshiba. And she’s totally holding it wrong.

Does your thumb know whether it’s tapping out a text or a Facebook update?

We have one of each, and that’s plenty. Or really, that’s too many.

Even Everett needs to freshen up his material.

Beauty “pageants” are sexist, belittling and dehumanizing.

Counterpoint: If I’m paying you to cook me a steak, you’d better make it the way I want it, your delicate sensibilities be damned. I’m not doing you a favor by eating your food, I’m paying your salary.

Judged, yes, but by a guy who cooks meat for a living. So I’m ok with that.

That’s nonsense. People paying for food have the right to have that food prepared as they wish, even if that’s not how you personally would eat it.

Dunks are for showboats. Give me a good bounce pass and layup any day.

Hooray for Title IX!

LOL! Good one!

So, someone from 20 years ago. Check.

Buzzing? I’m sure that’s not how anatomy works.

“I don’t have to suck the woman’s asshole 24/7 to be her friend”