Mitch McConnell should be fucking tried for treason, the no-necked fucking prick.

Let people enjoy things, you fucking killjoy.

Thank god I'm a straight, white man today.

So, like, every Trump supporter that thinks sexual assault is "locker room talk" so we're taking about millions of people.

Fuck every person who thought a woman was somehow a criminal for running for president

I literally cried. Fuck this. I'm fucking done. We're watching the least qualified candidate in American history win by a landslide and I'm fucking sick.

I'm scared and depressed and I hate my country

That Stephen Hawking thing was alright. It was fine. He didn't deserve a fucking Oscar, but he was okay in it.

He'll play a man romantically linked to another man, and is also drunk and abusive toward him. There, that more believable?

I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm just gonna go right ahead and assume I fucked something up.

I knew the commenter before he made a video.

Can I be the manager that ends up taking your band to great success but also in a totally different direction than what you all wanted and it tears you apart?

I'll see to it that Okilly Dokilly suffers!

Yeah. Months ago, I chuckled at the idea. "Outrageous!"

They're so bored with sex that when even something as inconsequential as candy is mentioned, they fucking LEAP out of bed.

I'd watch an R-rated prequel that paints Willy Wonka as a Cortes-like villain.

Can we have adult ball pits? I never went in one as a kid and I feel like I'd get arrested if I went into one now.

We Need to Talk About Your Costume

Hello? I need the largest season ticket package you have.

How did they do those Terminator effects with the water one?! I dropped my popcorn like 8 times!