But hot dogs are a place-based food that are required fare at any of the following locations:

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re going to lock me up and throw away the key.”

Good Heavens. Is it me, or do these self-described “gay conservatives” seem to be trying to pull the proverbial wool over our eyes? Judging by their comments, these chaps seem positively cross!

Every single hot taek ever should end with:

He’s in the corner, just out of the frame. If you can find another replay of it it’s not as bad as this camera angle makes it look (though the pass was way off).

[extremely Dennis Miller voice] I haven’t seen this much displeasure about a Cardinals’ decision since electing Pius XII, babe. They sent up more white smoke than Alice Cooper’s stage show in ‘78.

Let me speak for all Milwaukee dirtbags when I say I like the part where he hit the guy.

I’m an above average 6'2 180 pound 29 year old male. If I was put in as a running back on 1st and goal from the 1 and given the ball (up to) four straight times

Aw, man! That rug really pulled the room together, man!

I’m reasonably certain that several members of Alabama’s defense realized sometime this week that a dominant performance tonight would have meant that they were going to get picked by Washington in the draft, and this was the quickest way to avoid it.

“A tiny tip can make a difference? Huh. Well, I’ll never know.”

Yes, clearly it is the fault of the team he’s been on for less than two months that a 29-year-old veteran player continues his years-long pattern of being a dick.

Hyperbole combined with inaccuracy...as 10 of the players ( on each side ) can use all parts of their bodies except the bits from their shoulders to their hands and the other player can use all of his body.

Took one sentence for me to think, “Yeah, I’d rather just work.”

Well I will just keep not doing it, then.

What the fuck kind of take is that ham talk? Ham is fucking amazing and stands on its own far better than turkey which requires gravy to be made palatable. A spiral cut ham or a salty Smithfield ham makes life worth living when surrounded by snot-nosed niblings or Trump-humping uncles.

To hell with you I scrolled through to make sure Drew wasn’t on there. 

Football ain’t big enough for a drawing of that.

His signature is actually a cartoon drawing...

You know, back when Notre Dame meant something, they would have demanded a national championship before they covered for a coach killing a student.