It’s bad, but note that it’s impossible to read in anything other than a Foghorn Leghorn voice, and impossible not to pantomime wiping a handkerchief across your fat sweaty brow immediately upon completion.

hell yeah this is the good good kinja

AND YET that desperate, sad 6-year old still lives inside me, guiltily cheering on the Yankees of Football.

Next up: Philadelphia Eagles.

Helmet rule won’t change anything for the Patriots, we’ve always tackled with our head up, eyes open, head back, so we can see what we hit our next costly flag will be our first, so suck it, losers

Minnesota gave us Prince. That makes up for at least 87% of the state’s repressed Lutherans.

I’ve made mistakes in my life but being a domestic abuser is not one of them!

No, Zach Smith is having THE public meltdown

Samuel L. Jackson hasn’t portrayed an actual character since the 1990s.

They drafted a running back named after the O.J. judge.

Well, if she wasn’t trying to make him horny, why was she wearing that name?

Putting clothespins on power cords to save money by keeping electricity from escaping as waste is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard. If people who believe this have kids that go to your kid’s school, you need to find your kid a new school.

I knew him well (hung).

“We also learned during the investigation that Coach Meyer has sometimes had significant memory issues in other situations where he had prior extensive knowledge of events.”

“Coach Meyer is known to have a physical condition that in combination with medication taken to treat that condition, causes him to impulsively say anything he can think of to Make Allegations Go Away."

Now the Braves will definitely plunk a different Marlins player, and I will have to deal with deep moral confusion over the whole thing.

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

I resent this article. Earthworm Jim IS AWESOME.

A Michigan State fan looking the other way as a young athlete is abused?  Not exactly breaking news.

To be fair to Bowen, signing with the Clippers would be proof that Leonard was getting bad advice.