Well, and he has a history of donating to everyone else, so no one wants to be the candidate that hammers him and knocks him out of the race unless they’re sure they’ll never want money from him again.

Republicans have always been more concerned about what imaginary democrats might do more than the actual consequences of their own actions.

Traveling overseas to meet your foreign mistress?  What a low-energy move!  The Republican Party has moved on from trying to hide stuff like that 

What’s the vegan position on breastfeeding, anyway?  

Ha! I had a buddy who was excited about finding a bottle of grappa he really liked, and he pressed me to try some.

I expect twitter will release a statement that “Usually we would remove an unsolicitated dick pic tweeted out from a confirmed account, but since it’s the President acting in an official capacity we’re going to ignore policy and leave it” when Trump tweets a “rebuttal” Stormy’s testimony that he was a small weird…

The funniest part is, apparently everyone else in the Trump Organization has been sitting on a similar message from journalists, and when Eric realizes that in two weeks time he’ll have another meltdown that no told him journalists had been reaching out to employees. 

Right?  Paramedics face all the same scary shit cops face and don’t start killing people over it. Firefighters run into burning buildings to drag people out and don’t start waving their axe at everyone in the vicinity. I can only imagine how far “I feared for my life” would go to explain why you fucked up and let…

How many hand offs and organizations does money has to pass through before it’s fully laundered and clean again?  None? As long as you don’t say “this is a bribe from the oil industry” I guess it’s okay. 

A dummy I don’t regularly work with was complaining about how Walmart was making a mistake, because “they aren’t telling about the guy who took out a shooter the other day.” There’s a whole network of gun nut memes where any incident with more than two guns is celebrated as a heroic ‘Murican saving everyone from the…

Is that why Trump’s hips look so wide?

Right? If they run you about driving a shitty old car, explain that cars aren’t interesting when you can fly jets, then treat them to a short field takeoff with the maximum departure angle.

If I was on the US’s naughty list, I’d just write a beautiful letter in a large envelope to the President telling him that he was my friend now.

I can’t believe that this PM is NOT the PM who fucked a pig. 

The Don Jr defense: he was too stupid to realize he was committing any crimes. 

I have no problem at all believing the people who associate with Deadeye Dick there can’t pass a background check. 

You’re a piece of shit.

Didn’t we bail this fucking company out so they wouldn’t lay off a whole bunch of workers?  Who’s going to bail them out next time?  

It’s almost like everyone around him notice that if you bitch to him about Boeing, he’ll tweet some dumb shit about Boeing that will dip the stock price in a predictable way...

Hell, that sounds almost exactly how owning a firearm in the military worked. Keep it at the armory, where some drunk, angry ass can’t get it in a hurry.