I love that “ALL APOLOGIZE!” is going to be the idiocy he’s remembered for most, sort of the way Nixon is famous for being the reason any fuck-up is called “—gate.”

Dude, enough of Splinter’s writers don’t even think voting is worth it, I promise they aren’t trying to burn anything to the ground.

Look, no one wants to celebrate a war they lost, okay?  Just let him stay home and pout. 

It was designed by a tacky elderly woman with a trust fund, obviously it called out to Donald Trump that he needed to own this magnificent property.

They told him the storm would move north, and they couldn’t give him a good answer why it would do that, and now South Carolina is getting evacuated!  ALL APOLOGIZE!

Oh, they cured his diabetes, so he was good to go indefinitely, right troll?

Nah, shot-in-the-face baby isn’t going to be photogenic. Is the mom hot enough to pose with Trump?  

Some idiot at work was talking about El Paso as an example of why we needed more guns. The Dayton shooter started shooting pretty much directly in front of some cops, and the best case scenario was that 36 people got shot.  What the fuck do these idiots think more guns are going to do?

Steve Scalise got his dick shot off and he doesn’t think we need to change any gun laws. Whatever fear they have, it’s worse than “maybe me and my family get mutilated as a direct result of my policies.”

Well, it’s cloudy today. They’re having a hurricane.  Trump’s going to brag about personally surviving Dorian, isn’t he?  

I love that they’re looking at a poster in the photo. Like, here’s the up to the minute situation when it was printed off 2 hours ago. The next update is delayed until an intern comes back with more toner.  

Twitter, the haven of white supremacists that G/O regularly (and rightly) calls out, gives the option of blocking users when they spout dumb shit like 98% of the trolls here do.  G/O has a placebo button and a tiered comment system that promotes trolls and causes drama.  

Didn’t Lou Dobbs leave CNN because he kept doing stories about immigrants spreading leprosy?  “Left CNN and landed at Fox” wasn’t a real surprise for him. 

Surely no disaffected young man will dye his hair and shoot up a theater when this opens, right? 

I’m reminded of an old Norm Chomsky anecdote where he says he trusts the Wall Street Journal’s reporting above all other sources, because as abominable and fascist as their opinion desk may be, businessmen need the information in the hard news sections of the paper to be accurate if they’re going to rely on it to make…

They keep telling us that an armed society is a polite society.  The 17-month-old baby who got shot in the face yesterday must have been a very unruly baby, I guess.

Boxing can be rough to watch sometimes, but a fighter doesn’t follow an opponent to the canvas and pound him after he is unable to protect himself.  MMA has always seemed trashy and unsporting. 

Sure, but I refuse to believe the country that invented Ghost Hunters doesn’t also believe these houses won’t be haunted by the ghosts of kids who played with daddy’s gun. What does “that’s the murder-suicide house/house where a kid died” do to resale value?

Your dipshit fuhrer is busy imposing tariffs on everything he can think of, and you’re whining about these costs being passed along to the consumer? You really don’t have any opinions other than “Tell anyone else they’re wrong, stir up trouble to provoke interaction with others” do you?

I joined the chess club in high school, and never got past the basic opening for white and the basic opening for black. I have a vague idea about what the first few moves should be and was instructed to employ them and hope for the best. The instruction was very light on tactics and strategy. At a chess meet, I was…