Yeah but she can't break a bat over her knee.

"Stu, listen, I know you've had the eye issue. And of course, you've had cancer. Then, the cancer returned. All terrible and horrible maladies that have stricken you and, obviously, I'm just really sorry about it. Tremendously sorry. Really I am.

If you ask me, it's kind of unethical for them to release the results of Wes Welker's concussion test.

I guess you must not get it. See, this person at the top is making a judgement about her sexuality based on her choice of sports and appearance, and based on that judgement, has decided that it's ok for her to be run down by a car. It was a deep joke, I know. It took me a minute, too.

Oh my goodness, wow! You're so smart and funny and original! No one ever thought to make a comment about a female basketball player being a lesbian! I'm truly floored by your original and groundbreaking comedy, really.

Would it kill you to just say Auburn won, rather than poor Johnny's shoulder combined with uncalled penalties lost it for A&M?

This entire album is just so awesome. Seeing it all live last year during the anniversary tour was awesome as well. But for the sports theme, you should have done "We Are Not A Football Team"

[Finishes typing 100th memo in 100 days]

And here I thought Eli Manning's QB rating was the most grotesque single digit of the day.

I'

By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged.

"Hello my baby, Hello my darling, hello my ragtime dolllllllllll............."

Because of racism.

Most of them have never seen USC at this depth.

God we need relegation.

He has a helmet covering his eyes, he's disoriented and he STILL manages not to run into the ass of any of his offensive linemen.

Who cares? Hoover football sucks anyway.

Available, honest, resilient, straight forward, tough, yet majestic and with a strong sense of duty. Was there ever a vehicle that has better epitomised the country which it has served with such distinction? I think not.

Well, this whole situation is depressing, so here is Nova, Auburn's youngest golden eagle, to cheer everyone up.