This could be a shocker... but he might be the right guy for the job. Scientists do not necessarily make the best administrators.

Don Jr.?

I assume he’ll find God again if you put a gun to his head. Hey, wait...

Bark twice!

You deserve a galaxy of stars for this but you’ll have to settle for

Inject this straight into my eyeball, please.

Thanks much. Your comment has the right stuff.

“I do not care if Jesus Himself dropped an F bomb in a CLOSED MEETING.”

uh, no

I wrote a little song about this very thing.

And again, I say that he wasn’t trying to illustrate the point in a linear way. But you can keep doubling down on not getting the joke if you want.

No, he was playing with the metaphor to make a joke, and you took the idea of the metaphor too literally.

Metaphor: It’s What’s for Dinner™

“not good for baseball”? What could that even possibly mean in this context? Brady Anderson nailed it, man.

“The rich get richer, the poor get the picture”

The interview then devolved into something about a threesome with Huey Lewis and Michael J. Fox.

Who does Cuomo think he is, Mr. Big?

What a lame comment. I can’t imagine the crippling shame Theismann must be feeling from the vicious hits he’s taking for these remarks.