Best Kinja in 108 years.

We came close to a robot President in 2000 and 2012, but the technology wasn’t quite there.

“When the lady comes by with a basket I just grab the basket like, ‘I’ll handle this.’”

Gronk: “THAT’S WHAT *SHE* SAID. No, really, that’s what she said.”

Newt Gingrich is a combination of the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man, Gollum, and Will Ferrell’s Harry Caray impersonation... with serious anger issues and a tiny, tiny wee-wee.

Here’s that one star that is so much less than what you deserve. +1 Camptown Lady

I think Mary socked him one while they were discussing the first debate.

Nicely done. +1 controlled explosive

“And I’m laughing and laughing and I’m happy. I’m the drum. I’m the drum!”

Here’s a list of websites that readers have told us they are having trouble accessing:

It’s a nasty bigly hombre.

It’s not a bug... it’s a feature.

Does my own sword count?

FINALLY!

Well, that’s seven minutes of Google image searching that I’ll never get back.

“My three favorite flavors: Carpet padding, clown barf, and human blood”