Couldn't I accomplish the same thing much faster by purchasing "In Utero" on iTunes?

"5yrs of us being 3gether"

There should be a thought balloon over Doug Collins' head: "Can Bill Simmons even dribble a basketball?"

"be sure to talk exclusively about yourself and NEVER ask the other person how they're doing. I am consistently amazed at how many motherfuckers out there treat the other person in a conversation like a fucking TV camera. I'll talk to someone for, like, an hour, and then I'll walk away and be like,Wait, that asshole…

That's just fantastic work. +1

I should add that Dork Friend ended up a great and much less dorky guy as an adult... but at that time, whew...

The most painful part of this video? The poor old woman crying out, "My shoulder!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you next year."

Oh, you want more? Okay... you suck more than a Dutch whore who's behind on her rent.

I just checked out your stream of most recent comments. Not a single one that wasn't just attacking someone one for their comments. Not a single one that said anything positive or interesting or clever or even intelligently critical or substantive. And most of your comments received zero stars. You must be a blast…

Thanks! I was getting worn out by your heady prose and incisive analysis!

Dude, why so bitter?

"Say it, and act like its the most original thing ever. I'd laugh forever"

Testimony from his gay psych major friend or it didn't happen.

I'm with you. And I'm about as repulsed by the whole Kardashian phenomenon as anyone (which is obviously a symptom of a much larger problem). But I think it's insane to mock people for their ignorance and then ALSO mock them for taking concrete steps to overcome that ignorance. I guess if there's anything mockable…

What the deuce do you mean?

Excellent work. Your non-dad would be proud.

dude. That just made my week.

Yeah, I'm waiting for the addendum: "Unfortunately, Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman, and Vladimir Putin have not yet weighed in on this matter, but I am sure they are equally outraged... as I am sure any NBA player or leader of a large industrialized nation would be."