“We’re most likely only a few years away from the wonderteen himself, Christian Pulisic, breaking even Pogba’s record when Barcelona sign him from Borussia Dortmund in the near future.”

Is Jeter bypassing cheap bush really that newsworthy? Do we need to revisit the starting lineup of his exs?

No running near the damn pool!

At first glance I thought the article was “Cibian: Women’s Team Strikes Ill-Advised Pose.”

This is so bad and yet, you got a laugh and a star.

No thanks. She would just swat away my hand at every advance.

Way to land that one in the least-PC damaging way. We were all thinking it.

The same thing that happens if the Lakers do pick Ball: ESPN’s heads blow and it takes them two months to change their pants.

I know this is a completely novel concept to major metropolitans - especially New York - but if you’re having demand issues maybe, just maybe, consider lowering the astronomical prices for tickets, beer, food, etc. Blasphemy I know.

This is not Jalen’s fault. Learning how to form hospital corners into sheets and how to ergonomically achieve perfection as a future Chair Pilot are not easy classes. 

Shacattin’ a Fool.

“the Heat would still be responsible for his cap space even if Bosh returned and played more than 25 games for another team.”

“Osweiler’s interpretation of his own play raises a new batch of questions.”

Whoever claims to have read all that is a fucking liar.

That’s funny because Hot’N’Ready is what I call my shits after I eat their pizza. I feel like Little Caesar too with my stabbing back pain as I try and forcibly repel the angry barbarian horde of a shit out of my asshole.

“$37 worth of McDonald’s food sitting in your gut.”

Wait. I am confused. You did or didn’t play football?

Pictured above: Tuberville attempting to recruit in Lubbock.

Yes because as a man with a screen name about actually preferring for a feline to be in their life, you sir are definitely the right person to make such an astute judgement of who is and isn’t a “tough guy.”

I hope you’re ready for your own bout of butt problems buddy.