He’s not wrong about Yordan’s homer. It was the first to hit the third deck in Houston in the 19 years the stadium’s been in use. That’s partly (mostly) because there’s only about 50 seats in the third deck that are in fair territory. But it was a monster and there’s no way it was only 420 feet.

Taking a long swig from a Faygo grape soda, Arenado added, “Truly distances and magnets are some of the greatest wonders of mankind."

Alternate jobs for Mr. Minshew include

a tragedy fitting for such a somber day, this is matched in devastation only by the September 11, 1973 CIA backed coup of Chile. RIP Allende

Man Injures Throwing Hand Throwing Hands.

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Steelers fans like him again now

I’m glad they decided to closed-caption themselves for viewers who may be hard of hearing

Or Rigoberta Menchú.

“There is no joy in the world, only metrics.”

Pictured: Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving agreeing to sign with the Nets.

13. Another element the author fails to grasp is that while analytics may be able to predict which ballplayers are suited for MLB play, it has not yet perfected the development of goofy, high calorie stunt foodstuffs.  Without the trial and error and development taking place every season at MiLB parks, it’s unclear…

Well, they are more than low-key fucking with him.

Alasska Scold Rush 

For the Michiganders among us, I think someday Roth should pull cards from the 2003 - 2008 Tigers and have Lauren Remember Those Guys.

You guessed it...

Since every cabinet member in this administration has to be worse than the last, I'm calling it now: Trump is going to appoint Oliver North as the next National Security Advisor.

So wooder they all mad about exactly?

On the one hand, Billy Bush is a no-talent, vapid, sycophantic flake.

Gareon, my Raidered son
You’ll be kneed when you are down
Lay your weary head to rest
You’re going on I.R.