Figures. My birthday is the 26th.

I have been happily married for 35 years, but a few years ago, I found out that my abusive asshole first real boyfriend got hit by a bus. Karma! I shouldn’t find it as funny as I do, but you know what? Hahahahaha!

I watch Hoarders for that burst of horrified cleaning I do when the show is over!

Jesus wept.

Please. He was pitching the world’s tiniest tent. And it didn’t stay up long.

No shit. I gave up wondering why I will never be ungrayed, and seeing these assholes makes me care less about it. I’m going to continue responding to whomever I choose, and damn the torpedoes!

I met the best friend I’ve ever had when I was 53. Be open to new friends, you can find them at any age!

Don’t forget wealthy!

I wouldn’t pee on him if he were on fire.

Love it!

I’m fine with him leaving on a stretcher. As soon as possible!

I would not be surprised by anything these cartoon villains get up to

And Michael Keaton.

It’s the gif that keeps on giving!

Willful ignorance? It’s something far more sinister than that. These evil fucks know climate change is real- they just don’t give a damn

He’d be lucky to be as handsome as the Emperor!

They’d put it on pay per view.

Picture!

That’s why he buys country clubs. He’d never get in one otherwise.

Opulent. He has it!