Keeping one eye on what's going on around her is a wonderful tribute to Stuart Scott.

As a member of the Jets, he's quite familiar with relatively minor offenses.

the complete first season of the original Batman television show on DVD, and a fuuuuuckingLed Zeppelin CD.

Jerks Dick Kid

This clearly set the tone for people in Matthew Stafford jerseys getting fucked.

They're lucky it wasn't worse. When black is used that much in a police report, someone usually ends up dead.

Woman: [hears an argument about the amount of money professional athletes are paid for signing with a professional team]
Woman: [hears a struggle between two idiots]
Woman: [yells at husband to turn off that damn sports radio show]

Those Xs were actually supposed to go over his eyes as a tribute to the New York Knicks.

In conjunction with the announcement, the Hall of Very Good released a statement of their own, asking if they could please be left out of this, for once.

I'd suggest he enter a 12-step program, but he's already shown he's hopeless when it comes to going through progressions.

Speaking of people who don't even bother to survey the situation before passing, the Jets also need a quarterback.

I can't wait for a similar tribute to Chris Berman.

If those numbers hold, Raines, Bagwell, and Schilling would have seen their support rise significantly from last year.

"What do you expect when you come to Dallas?" Lions safety Glover Quin said.

• She just realized she's condemned herself to a lifetime of saying THE Ohio State University, which simply can't be done without sounding like a complete asshole.

But...if they ban the head of security from the stadium, how are people supposed to feel safe and unthreatened?

Gibson: "Just don't want my dog to say anything wrong."

Murray: Questionable (Penis)

Of course it was Carmelo keeping him from throwing another punch. God forbid somebody else take a shot, for once.

{weeps}