Because militarization of the police.

I just found out that our local hospital has this program and I got very excited. When I get my criminal record check done for adoption with the ministry, I will also be able to snuggle the babies who will be entering care - not a lot of people to do that so more babies to snuggle! And they really need it. :)

so her nephew really is a PUSSY? or at least half...

Sure. She roughs someone up and she's some crazy, out of control criminal but her brother blows up an entire Death Star...

This might be the most inaccurate Jezebel headline of all time. She's not on trial yet and the nephew didn't "pull a gun on her." He got a gun to protect himself. This is just bad journalism.

I had someone ask me once to fax them a sealed envelope, since they were using a public-ish fax machine and didn't want anyone reading the correspondence.

My son asked me once what girls had instead of testicles. Keeping it clinical, I replied, "Ovaries". He gave me a weird look. "I thought that was a name for the fancy socks that ladies wear." My turn for the confused look. "No, sweetie. That's 'hosiery'."

my grandmother is the queen of malapropisms - well, and of general airheadedness. over a decade ago, we were celebrating my grandfather's birthday at Lenny's, a locally famous seafood restaurant on the shore in connecticut. it was about 9 pm, when my grandmother saw a blind man using a cane to make his way down the…

but what if a bird comes in too

Um, my cat lives in my house?

I am sorry your Friday is going bad and you are a cranky mccrankypants!!!

Don't say Rosebud. <Fingers in ears.> Don't say Rosebud. <Fingers in ears.> Don't say Rosebud. <Fingers in ears.> Don't say Rosebud. <Fingers in ears.> Don't say Rosebud. <Fingers in ears.>

Police: Can you describe the robber?

fuck them and their overpriced status symbol yoga pants anyway. DAMN!

Gun crimes should start at a mandatory decade in prison and not be parole-able.

You know, I think the bummer of not being able to shoot your guns responsibly at a range is probably not really comparable to the bummer of being shot in the head by your drunk neighbor, and the bummer of literally thousands of other gun deaths every goddamn year.

they will see me naked at such great heights

Unless you're living your entire life in a series of house flips or building a log cabin for your family by hand, home maintenance is occasional and sporadic and would never in a million years add up to the hours disparity banked in housework.

I'm a parent and I'm delighted to have my 11-year old speak privately with her doctor about puberty and anything else she might want to discuss with HER DOCTOR. When are our children supposed to learn how to talk to their doctors? After they grapple with the most significant and confusing (not to say potentially…

This happened near my home! This is what I know... The vehicle that was hit had the ramps down on the trailer after removing equipment to do work in the immediate area. The guys in the truck that were taking the video had started the video because the driver of the airborne truck had been driving erratically and so…