Question, does "time" mean each orgasm or each masturbation session? Because that definitely changes things...

I mean, why do we even have a separate system for trying children and adults if every time a child does something horrific, we're just going to try them as an adult anyway. We, as a society, have decided that crimes have a different connotation and weight when you're younger, and I think we either need to accept…

This is a blog; we editorialize here. It's fine if you disagree and you are welcome to stage a counter-argument, but you've mistaken us for a newspaper, which we are not.

If you don't do things in public that make you look stupid, why the fuck are you commenting on Jezebel? Because let me tell you... you look like a goddamn moron.

I used to weigh 453lbs. NOW I weigh 165lbs. Many people look at me dressed and might think I totally rock a bikini but the reality is that I make a far better mannequin after massive weight loss than I do a nude model (or even partially nude in a bikini model). My knees and legs are particularly bad since I used to…

I discovered the link when I was 12. But I refuse to learn from it. *still gassy from eating sour cream and cheese on my tacos yesterday*

I discovered a link between dairy and "digestive distress"

I'm traveling abroad on my own this summer. I've decided to take a bikini. It's the first two piece I've had in 10 years. I'm so over covering my body because it doesn't look "right". So, fuck it. That's all.

Argh I'm so fucking sick of this idea that women shouldn't be taking responsibility for their own safety because in a perfect world they wouldn't have to. Living in a fantasy world won't keep you safe! Predators are out there, and they will continue to be out there. You can't just sit around waiting for society to…

LOL I would have said "that's the devil making you eat sweets"

tomorrow? I'm guessing she's got a few days while her body figures out what just happened.

Competitive eating in general, I suppose.

I don't understand how this is in any way pleasurable. As a fat woman who loves food I just....I don't get this. I don't understand turning eating something delicious into a chore. It makes me kind of sad.

YOUR MOVE, SUGAR FREE GUMMY BEARS.

I hope this finally brings attention to the under-reported horror of waxing induced crotch itch. Time we all started pruning those bushes rather than yanking them out.

"The magazines are askew on the table, and THE HAND TOWELS DON'T MATCH THE BATHROOM FIXTURES ANYMORE!"

Whatever, GOOP is just going to re-brand it as "Apple and Moses have decided to embrace the lower middle class echelons by going normcore, and will be Summering in the Inland Empire with a quaint Latino family they met through our maid, Alma."

"its" deep fryer...

Oh my God, "Abraham Zapruder of celebrity children!" AMAZING!