“I was worried someone might make fun of my kid, so I decided to make it a certainty.”

I would literally kill to have as much free time and mental vacuity as this loser. 

Huh huh, you said sect.

they sound like a bunch of dicks.

Some replacement suggestions:

Ok Utah Dad, you should change your sect’s name so it sounds less like Moron.

I would barrage him with a never-ending stream of innuendos and double-entendre.

I knew a gal in MN whose maiden name was “Weiner”. The family next door, no lie, were “Bean”. So the Weiners were alongside the Beans.

They should name them the “Twigs”. They could play the Logansport High School (Indiana) team and it would be the “Twigs” against the “Berries.” Or they could stay the Penises and go up the road a piece and match up against Frankfort High so it would be the “Penises” against the “Hotdogs.” I got a million of them.

Holy shit.

I can picture it now...
Secret Service agent: Mr. President, this area isn’t safe. The local geologist has warned that the ground may cave in.

YES!!! This guy should be disqualified on hair alone.

What’s with the hair in this administration.

It took him forever to really explain what he did - because if you listened to him on the phone, you would think he was making actual business deals.

I always say that people pine for the 50's where you could beat your wife and kids, but no one said peep so long as the lawn looked good...

I will say and will always say I have nothing against thoughts and prayers. It’s always comforting as a victim to know that people are thinking of you. But that doesn’t excuse you from doing what you can do to effect real change.

All of the things you are listing cost money and none of them funnel more money into the pockets of the billionaires who control the entire Republican party.

I am so fucking tired of all of this. The lack of willingness to try something, ANYTHING. It’s like ok, you don’t want to blame guns because they’re just the tool. Fine, I’ll play.

‘Thoughts and prayers’- they were in a freaking CHURCH. They don’t need prayers, they need stricter gun laws.