My best birthday party was when I turned 7. My mom let me invite my friends/favorite classmates to party at the McDonald’s Playland! The food was shitty (even to 7 year old me), but I had a lot of fun playing with everyone in the germ-infested tunnels! 

EXACTLY! When I was attending college in rural Vermont, I was fortunate that my mom would mail my Zyrtec from Connecticut! 

One time my mom got measured at VS, and even the employee measuring her was all “WTF?!” My mom is definitely NOT a C-cup!

VS could hire me as a model, since I do wear their clothes. But I’d be considered too short and “fat”.

I hope they drown in a sewer.

Good on your boss’s boss! I’ve never been pregnant, but can comprehend the needs of pregnant people!

My Meme was pregnant 6 times between 1956-1971, and would have verbally walloped your boss. 

My lungs and sinuses have a shit fit whenever exposed to large amounts of tobacco smoke, so I feel your pain. My biological dad was a fucking slob who would bitch about my mom cleaning and not wanting to eat at restaurants back when smoking was permitted, even though he had bad asthma that got triggered by a lot of…

That’s why I tend to be picky when choosing a gynecologist, especially after moving to NC from CT. So far, my new obgyn is decent and he listened to me.

I was at a dental specialist earlier this week (going into more debt for a damned root canal), and they were playing the Christian music station. How I wished I had my earphones to listen to Satan’s tunes when the station was talking about how “great” going to church is.*

Reagan and his gang of putzes are the main reason why I can’t buy a house, have student loan debt that prevents me from buying a house, and why I get paid a slave wage.

I’m “lucky” to only have gotten the anxiety and bad allergies that run in the family. I get pissed whenever I hear that my allergies were caused by my mom not wanting her house to smell like ass (read: she kept her house clean), rather than a turd in the gene pool.

THANK YOU! Anti-depressants SAVED my sister’s life! 

“All magic comes with a price, dearie!”

My mom is 53, and looks A LOT better than her!

“It’ll confuse them” is hilarious because at 3 I knew the difference between English and Spanish! Fucked up how the U.S. is still far behind other countries when it comes to languages.

It blows that here in the U.S. the emphasis on learning a 2nd language is lacking. I was always jealous of my ESL classmates who were fluent in Spanish and English. 

I think Alabama would be horrified by the fact that my mom drove to her scheduled c-section* during a snow storm in Upstate NY.

You beat me to it!

I get a Brazilian every 4-6 weeks (I don’t give a fuck if it’s “bad”). The hair growing between waxing isn’t too wild, but everyone’s hair grows at different rates.