And they gave away the bulk of the (true, very derivative) plot!

But the horse isn’t a person.

Well played.

For whatever reason, I can’t (or simply haven’t found the precise right spot to click in order to) star a comment that hasn’t already been starred.
promissory +1

“Where I come from, that’s lingerie. Then again, where I come from, we don’t have comprehensive sexual education.” —someone, somewhere

if your only hangup is that American Pharoah is a horse, then what about his jockey? He was in every one of those races too.

+1 for jokes
+1 for creative use of formatting options (whereas most of these schmucks can’t even be bothered to use italics every once in awhile)

Would you like to join the Chris Paul Anti-Fan Club? For six bits, you can get your own CP3 mini-voodoo doll.

Yo.

‘Sup.

Does that mean that he was genetically engineered by a cadre of right-wing operatives with an utter lack of talent for naming...?

A win’s a win, dammit.

But what if [me:ninja spoonfucking :: the narrator-protagonist:green eggs and ham]?

Borrrrringggg

First-ballot Stepmom Hall-of-Famer right there.

CONDI AND COLIN DON’T COUNT. YOU GOTTA HAVE MORE THAN TWO.

Ugh, Amber is THE WORST.
[does not know who Amber is]

“Sure the superintendent was killing adolescent drifters during summer breaks, but—let’s focus on the big picture—he secured funding for arts programs and raised standardized test scores!”