Guy: [bombs all of his job interviews]
Guy: [to no one in particular] “I will not, uh, be accepting employment at this time. Thank you.”

+1 knowing chuckle from the audience

Excellent choice! Can’t go wrong with Radio City (well, except maybe “Morpha Too”).

“You won’t.”

You will likely be delighted to know that all the replies to the below tweet were unanimously negative.

If you were wrong so proudly and so consistently, why would you want to start being right about anything? I know I wouldn’t...!

Hopefully this get more stars in the future, because that was magisterial.

So you want us to compare numbers from a 162-game season, an 82-game season, and a 16-game season, then. How about you give us confidence intervals for these winning percentages across three sports (with seasons of drastically different lengths)?

I will keep wasting my disposable income on buying CDs until they stop making them, because I like having something tangible in my hands before, during, and after listening to an album—and because I like having at-will access to hard copies of my favorite records.

Yeah, it was real ‘easy’ for the Warriors to put the Rockets away in seven games...

Here’s Agnes Hicks’s obituary.

But Mozart over Beethoven tho????

Heart and/or grit.
Plus alkaline water.

Or: your niece is exceptionally sharp and should become a writer or some other such thing.

Wait, are you saying that Leonard’s injury in last year’s postseason is what kept him out for most of this year? (Because it isn’t.)

My takeaway from all this is that I am among Chris Paul’s purest haters.

Whatever. You want Hakeem to give his rings back because Jordan took a breather?

Which is why the Rangers got swept by the Jays in the postseason after The Flip.

Your comment was so good I bookmarked it.