Guy: [bombs all of his job interviews]
Guy: [to no one in particular] “I will not, uh, be accepting employment at this time. Thank you.”

+1 knowing chuckle from the audience

Excellent choice! Can’t go wrong with Radio City (well, except maybe “Morpha Too”).

“You won’t.”

You will likely be delighted to know that all the replies to the below tweet were unanimously negative.

If you were wrong so proudly and so consistently, why would you want to start being right about anything? I know I wouldn’t...!

Hopefully this get more stars in the future, because that was magisterial.

So you want us to compare numbers from a 162-game season, an 82-game season, and a 16-game season, then. How about you give us confidence intervals for these winning percentages across three sports (with seasons of drastically different lengths)?

Yeah, it was real ‘easy’ for the Warriors to put the Rockets away in seven games...

Here’s Agnes Hicks’s obituary.

But Mozart over Beethoven tho????

Heart and/or grit.
Plus alkaline water.

Wait, are you saying that Leonard’s injury in last year’s postseason is what kept him out for most of this year? (Because it isn’t.)

My takeaway from all this is that I am among Chris Paul’s purest haters.

Whatever. You want Hakeem to give his rings back because Jordan took a breather?

Which is why the Rangers got swept by the Jays in the postseason after The Flip.

Your comment was so good I bookmarked it.

Do people ever get tired of making the same lousy joke? (I guess not.)

That’s the reason these children who cannot objectively look at facts and the world around them need to have their eyes opened so they can form better opinions and use things other than “feels” for their basis.