BREAKING: FIST BUMPING NOW MARKER OF UNCOOLNESS

Did the parents have the fourth kid and say to themselves, "Not enough for a band—better have one more"? Anyway, little Tony's a realtor now.

Well, at least the cops up here in Berkeley—
[reads news from last night]

Well, they're both black, so there's that.

At this point, would it surprise you if it was?

Exactly. Far too many black people have been killed by police without even "resisting." Spare us your lecture.

Tell that to Amadou Diallo.

Immediately would be one thing, but did it really take them two weeks to check this stuff? I'm saying that this does little to ease my suspicions of this frat.

(Seriously though, how is this even an issue? The guy's emotional: so what?)

NO I CAN'T STOP YELLING BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I TALK.

It feels odd to me that they're just now putting this out, frankly.

"But that's what it feeeeeels like, man!"
—-FCP, crying what are in all likelihood white tears

In a can and thoroughly shaken, maybe.

That's a clown comment, bro.

Yes! We gotta bring that back.

I just hate to see inaccurate, lazy reporting like this

"Hmm? I wasn't listening—just staring at your avatar."—Rex Ryan

Hear me out: what if it's a person...with a grenade...like, 30 yards away?

Because you're not a pretentious ass, I'm guessing...?

So you didn't read either?