I never said deserved or owed. Ever. I deliberately didn’t say this. Nobody deserves sex or romance. Everyone, though, should have a *chance* to acquire it. There’s a difference.

Oh God, I miss The Toast SO MUCH.

“This used to be a god damn community of gamers, nerds, kids that got bullied, kids that got fucked with, kids that resorted to the gaming world because the real world was too fucking hard, too shitty, too lonely, too sad and depressing,”

Holy shit.

Who gives a shit

That’s a lot of look.

I half expect the opening scenes of these flims will be someone saying aye aye aye

Blake Shelton is alt-sexy.

True story= you can be both ugly and sexy. However, Blake is neither. So.

Donatella never looked this good (she also never had a Madrileño accent, but okay; Penelope is always great).

MY TIME HAS FINALLY ARRIVED

And now I want to go down a classic Nick Nolte rabbit hole.

Blake Shelton being anything that elicits any kind of public attention is beyond comprehension. That he isn’t the assistant manager of a struggling Subway is a wonder.

So flop sweat and alcoholism is sexy now?

I’m pretty sure he’s not even the sexiest Blake Shelton alive.

Blake Shelton is like the human equivalent of a Crescent roll. There is nothing remotely hot about him.

People’s Sexiest Man Alive has also honored Adam Levine, who’s about as sexy as Blake Shelton. Also on the list are Matthew McConaughey and Nick Nolte, who I guess must have made sense at the time? Add in abusers Johnny Depp and Mel Gibson and Scientologist weirdo Tom Cruise, and I think we should just treat People…

Gwen,

It isn’t hard. I’m not depriving myself of anything. A huge part of it is you have to decide you’re giving up sugar.