Kuznetsov has 22 goals and 36 assists in his last 42 games including playoffs

Bow before the one true GIF

Matt Cooke was never suspended for more than 10 games. Brad Marchand has never been suspended for more than 5. Radko Gudas got 10 for slew footing and then attempting to decapitate Mathieu Perreault. I’m not saying every hit like Wilson’s deserves 20 games (maybe it does?). I’m saying the league has a shitty history…

There has been no word on Gritty’s involvement.

I don’t get why hockey goalies get so down on themselves.

Usually thoughts of suicide only come AFTER playing goal for the Islanders.

Stars homer here: I fully believe the Stars had the best offer on the table for almost the whole summer. Ottawa was too prideful to accept anything that didn’t include Heiskanen in the deal, even at the expense of accepting a lesser deal with another team, which they did. But the longer the Sens drew this out, the…

The Lions: Reminding Bears fans that it could always be worse since before your dad was born

In the interest of fairness, Booth sustained a likely life-altering brain injury here:

My proposal: one set, but with one of these giant novelty balls:

Bayern and City could win their groups with 10 men

Niles Crane: “What’s the word in French for ‘light hearted’?”
Frasier Crane: “There isn’t one.”

Hip hip hoora-nah. Fuck it. I’mma take a nap on the sofa.

That and Michael Phelps. OK, more her, but it gives me an excuse to post one of my favorite olympic pictures in recent history:

So what you’re saying is that Rhode Island’s offer to the PawSox was a bad deal for taxpayers, but another city’s offer was even Worcester?

Zlatan isn’t washed up; washing up is Zlataned.

For fuck’s sake, it’s 2018. THERE’S LITERALLY AN ON-SCREEN GUIDE THAT LISTS ALL PROGRAMMING OFFERED BY YOUR CABLE PROVIDER. You can even sort channels alphabetically!!!  I hope Bill Simmons catches rabies.

History is going to be very kind to Randy Moss. Extremely thoughtful statement in the current climate of anthem madness.