1. Mr.

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

This is peak covfefe.

In Samardzija’s defense, it must be difficult for him to remember which team he plays for. 

Totally believe you, Tiger!

Does this count as another major?

With my own beloved Capitals washed out of the playoffs once again, my rooting interests are:

How did the bear survive with no water for 3.5 weeks?

this moron can’t even get through a basic intelligence briefing without colorful pictures and a tablecloth to draw on.

It must be bad when even the judge is fleeing the country.

He’s everything Jameis wants
He’s everything Jameis needs
He’s everything inside of Jameis
That Jameis wishes Jameis could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to Jameis
And you don’t know why

Olivier Giroud had an excellent chance to interject and put away all the bickering and divisiveness but he completely bottled the opportunity.

This piece is really, really great for spotlighting all the commenters who’ve never taken a college class, do not understand things like context or historical connotation, and who possess absolutely no critical thinking skills. Turns out there’s a whole lot of them.

I am just going to leave this here and let it marinate in the shittiness of the past few months:

You know that Karlsson has won the Norris twice, right?

I like that prediction. Yes, Karlsson should win the Norris, but it’s just a regular season award - playoff performance isn’t counted. If the Sens do win the Cup, Karlsson wins the Conn Smythe hands down.

Finally, somebody said it. Nobody cares about your struggles. Maybe don’t live in the antarctic.

What’s so sad about it is that Saturday probably ends not only their season, but their Cup window- there’s a lot of changes coming after the playoffs end here, no matter what the outcome.

The chyron makes a lot of sense given what he’s saying...