No mention of charges, so she got off?

Is it bad that I want to see the video?

And if I’m not ungreyed after I photoshopped an ibex for you people I just give the fuck up.

Here’s hoping that phone’s battery fries his little nuts to sterility.

Weakling! There is NEVER enough stuffing!

Things I would prefer BEFORE I prefer thinner Oreos:

Screw this! There’s only one natural direction for Oreos to go in: the Quadruple Stuffed Oreo. There will be no rest among the masses until this dream becomes a reality.

I mean, I suppose it adds up quickly if you’re eating the whole bag in one sitting*.

My mom left my 6 year old brother on the side of the road in the rockie mountains once and told him he should stop complaining because complaining attracts bears. Then drive right off. Because that’s how parents in the 70’s rolled.

Sadly, I can’t eat shrimp, but I once got onto a day cruise type thing in Vietnam with an enormous and delicious seafood buffet. Turned out nearly everyone on the boat was Israeli- SCORE! I ate SO much crab- so much...

Can it be coconut shrimp? I loves me some coconut shrimpies.

I picture her as a young woman, beautiful, pursued by five young men. Four of them bring her bouquets of roses, each in a different shade, each trying to outdo the other, one lovely afternoon when she was receiving guests in the front parlor. But the fifth, Howard, the one her heart ached for, beautiful, doomed…

“Ma’am, I’ll kindly ask you to stop deflowering yourself underneath the table!”

This describes me almost perfectly if you replace "tea" with "beer." :)

don’t you mean “ham-faced” ?

a neighbor who had broken into her apartment and used it to throw a baby shower

Fucking breeder scum.

No, you clear room in the basket for a blob. Damn amateur fry eaters.