I’ve definitely heard it before and maybe I can understand it...maybe, but the conviction with which they state it is the NUMBER ONE CAUSE of kidnapping is pretty impressive.

But for pets, once you’re close enough to read the pet tag aren’t you close enough to grab it and run off anyway?

Clothing with names is the #1 thing that prevents us for returning it or consigning it

Without the receipts.

If my sibling sent me this, I’d send the kid a picture book and a hat with his name on it out of spite.

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”

This reminded me of one of my old newspaper columns about my adventures driving a cab:

Can you order one him online or is he a boutique purchase?

But masturbating?

FYI, for all the detractors, I don’t think what she did was right, but she was obviously very upset. And as you can see from the multiple stories about this towing company, they do engage in some very fraudulent practices. If you were ripped off by Bernie Madoff or Kenneth Lay or a Nigerian Prince, would you remain…

Are you blonde and horrible? Hired!

Who would ever give a tow company a good review?

Waiting for the update that she’s just been hired at Fox News

Yeah, humanity is a fucking bummer.

Attention humans: your children are not possessed. Help is out there and it comes in the form of parenting classes and mental health resources, not starvation and exorcisms.

This is...chilling. That poor, poor woman.

I bet he gets real upset when he finds the perfect petite woman with big tits who isn't into old pudgy bald dudes.

I’m sure you’ll all be glad to know that I do my part by having never once stepped foot inside a gym.

That's me. I like A pint of beer to sip on every once in awhile, but generally speaking, marijuana is my one true love.

I assume it's just that stoners drink less alcohol. Most adult stoners I know almost never drink.