But did I?

Agreed. Emilio was in The Breakfast Club. Automatically and always far better than his brother.

46 and 35 is way less significant of a gap than 36 and 25. (Or 26 and 15, for that matter.)

I usually find Deadspin pretty good (other than women’s soccer) so this was kinda extra disappointing. This comes across as a lot of guys looking for an excuse to tell everyone how much (more) they lift (than a 100lb woman) without even trying, man. I don’t usually go for the masculinity so fragile, but...

I’m amazed this doesn’t have more stars! Here, instead:

Someday, I’d like to visit Giraffe Manor In Kenya.

She weighs 100lbs. How much do you weigh and how much can you lift? Pound for pound it’s highly likely she’s stronger than you.

“Hetha Connah. Come vith me if you vant to....lift.”

SHE IS AN ADORABLE BADASS I LOVE HER

I went to Tanzania a few years ago and left just adoring giraffes. They are so fascinating. Their super high blood pressures. The fact that they like never sleep hardly. That they have to awkwardly spread their legs to get a drink of water. That their babies have to fall like 6 ft out of them when they are born...

Julius is a good name for a giraffe.

I have an overwhelming urge to rub my nose on that giraffe’s nose. Weird.

Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo also has a new giraffe! It’s a girl! She has no name yet! Look at those lashes!

I like the way they think! - George Michael Bluth

Something tells me you’re a fan of Les Cousins.

The cocaine is a perfect aid to staying awake through a Lana Del Rey set.

Those are . . . those are real tweets? An at least semi-respected publication with decades of print history actually used “vajazzled”?

I don’t know about big.