Cleaning before vacation is huge. You get home like “my place is so clean!” and “it looks like a cool place to live!”

He’s horrible.  I was just recently forced to sit through Collateral and yes, it was decent and I liked Jamie Fox, but Tom Cruise was just painful every damn second.

I don’t Uber but Lyft, you need to add this preference. I’m just trying to get a ride, I don’t necessarily want to hear about your whole day. Or have you ask what I do for a living, where I’m off to and why would a cute girl like me need to do online dating? Two star rating FTW

One time when I was a youngster me and my girlfriend went to the drugstore next to the theatre, bought all kinds of snacks and then dumped the contents of our purses on top of our loot. We told the cashier that my purse broke and sailed right in. I was a brilliant teen.

Just saw Peeps cereal at Target last week (insert vomit emoji)

Loved this article, seriously laughing my ass off at my desk.

I had a boyfriend who liked to pluck them with his teeth.  I’ll see myself out.

I just have to say to all these posts about “old shit” and “not cleaning up properly back there”, enjoy your diaper rash because that’s where you’re headed. Hell hath no fury like a dirty ass.

I use a free app and I have entered my period for about a year and it has learned nothing to tell me when my period is coming. I get a reminder that my period is about to start, take all sorts of precautions and won’t see a thing for at least two more weeks. Pretty crappy app and maybe I should switch to a good ol…

I work out during my 1 hour lunch break. It takes me about 7-10 minutes to drive there, 5 minutes to change. I don’t warm up. I have about 30 minutes to work out and I try to make it count. 5 minutes to change and 10 minutes to get back. No I don’t have time to shower - I keep baby wipes in my gym bag and do a whores…

Barf. This is my sister’s thing and I have to endure this every single holiday. Every Thanksgiving I take a pity scoop, and every Thanksgiving said pity scoop goes in the trash. The tradition lives on.

My girls are Sadie and Cookie, which becomes Sadie Lady and Cookie Wook. Sadie is my midnight girl (black kitty) and Wookie has a goatee and three white legs/one black

I’m trying to watch Dietland. I‘ve watched about six episodes and now I feel no pull to continue. It’s dark. I was hoping for a stronger body positivity message

I watched The Circle on Netflix. Yes it seems like an interesting plot but don’t waste your time. It will suck you into its very unsatisfying ending. The circle idea was good but they should have come up with some shit to happen at the end. I want my Friday night back.

A newer show that falls into this category is New Girl. I swear I tried really hard with this show. Zoe is so cute but man, it is just not funny. But it thinks it is. How could there be so many seasons? It is painful to watch joke after joke fall short.

I’m so very sorry. I am a cat person and my heart aches for you. I hope the fond memories of Thor help ease the pain you are feeling. Gone but never ever forgotten.

Add to that list a pic of you “pinching” the moon. Or saying I hope your passport is current! I get it, we’re going to be traveling the world in your jet..as long as I look like a supermodel.

I’ve literally had “you look like fun.  We have a room downtown and we have coke.  What’s your number?”  So what you’re saying is I look like I’m into coke??  Or maybe I’m kidding myself and that message went to 50 people.  Probably the latter.

Same. None of these people read the profiles, they’re talking to you based on your pic. No kids is a deal breaker for me - you probably aren’t going to be too cool with me having a kid.  Also you might want to start a family and you won’t be doing that with me.  +1 on fedoras and backwards baseball caps.

I bumbled for about a month. TONS of (supposed) physicians, lawyers, surgeons, dentists. Maybe because they have their “networking” element but it’s intimidating. All their profiles say never married, no kids, looking for my travel partner in crime. The guys I met up with were ok but ultimately just wanted the hook…