The lady with her father’s anus mouth, doth protest too much.

“Stop the presses, Ivanka Trump is feeling attacked.”

For those of you concerned that Giuliani was bleeding on national television

Texas is going to be soooo high.

There’s a couple up, I thought this was one of the better ones:

Well, at least these stupidly bad people are killing each other now...

Bunker mentality, huh? Well, fortunately there's some ideologically apropos precedent for how Bunker Time ends. 

He’ll be in Twitter Jail by 12:05 pm on January 20, 2021.

Honestly is anyone surprised?

I’m 39, married with no kids. I don’t think kids were ever going to be a part of my future. But I always wondered if I’d regret not having them. This year, and all of its horrors, has made me glad I don’t have to deal with that extra stress. My plate already felt full, between work and other things going on in my…

As a liberal, it makes me sick to see my fellow liberals engage in this sort of abhorrent nonsense. Please stop it. Rand Paul’s neighbor is NOT, I repeat, NOT a hero, and it is disgusting to see people celebrating him as if he is.

You make a good nurse.  I would not make a good nurse.

It’s easier than worrying about your own shit. 

Okay, haha, but also I would probably subscribe to Monthly Lumberjack Fights. That sounds awesome.

This is much easier to read given what didn’t happen last week.

This sounds so much smarter than the dramatic american debate which is always either: you pay everything or you pay nothing.

This interview is a nice present from the Root.

He looks like his preferred lovemaking style would be: Constant negging followed by 2 minutes of jackhammer.

I have been slowly building up my pantry, something I intend to continue doing this next week. I don’t want to panic buy because that causes problems, but I definitely have more flour, sugar, and butter than I am likely to go through very fast. And liquor. I’ll probably buy another flat of tp next time I’m shopping…