Oooh, “shitwit.” Love it, will be stealing, thanks!

Oh my god, that “retraction”! I love it!

Cheats on his wife a LOT. :(  If I remember right, they almost divorced over Sanaa Lathan.

*barf emoji*

When I first read that, I thought he was being pervy toward whatever woman gave him the jersey. But was he actually talking about himself? (Either way, he’s such a gross piece of shit.)

Cool! Only $4000-something in 13 years. Not nearly as bad as I was expecting.

Was also a key plot element of “Seven Psychopaths.”

Yeah, when I first saw the headline, I thought, Boy, North Korea, you sure are dumb. You’re never going to get that money!

I’m the older woman in the black floral sleeveless top/dress with bleach-blond hair who thinks this is soooo stupid.

The US is very quickly going from a second-world country to a third-world dictatorship. I’m so glad I got out during Bush (I’m in failing socialist Europe now *eye roll*), but I’m so fucking pissed that retiring in my home country is more and more unlikely.

But why would you take a whole lemon to a music festival? That sounds like forethought to me.

Too bad Pink can’t sentence “mean” commenters to the grays, like they do here on Jezebel.

Twelve percent of Bernie primary voters voted for Drumpf in 2016.

My (Protestant) mom looks forward to Lent every year for the Arby’s fish sandwich.

Lost part of a molar to a Carambar. Candy is dangerous!

Doesn’t it kind of nullify the findings if they had to “avoid the use of social media, internet, phone calls, conversations and reading”? Like, that in itself will lower stress, no “nature pill” (dumb) needed.

A few more in addition to the selection justjennie posted in response to someone:

I’m trying to figure out what’s going on down the middle of her chest/torso, and I got nothin’.

Oh, fuck these assholes. God, I’ve written like four screeds and I’m so pissed they’re all incomprehensible. Just...fuck these assholes.

I was 23-ish. Asked a coworker if I should tell our boss that she had something on her forehead. That’s how I learned about it. (And one of my BFFs since junior high was Catholic, so I have no idea how it had never come up before!)