The narcissism is strong in this one, yes.

One day, eventually, compadre.

OMG who does this?? And who actually ADMITS to doing this? In public?? TO OTHER PEOPLE????? The mind, it boggles...

The truly American thing would be to charge for ketchup but give your richer customers loopholes to pay much less for it.

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

The comment about “breaking the restaurant” makes me think they did it on purpose to cause trouble, not because they actually had people waiting for those burgers.

McCoy was outed as a lousy tipper before getting shipped away.

Why would anybody care to read a book on Nick Saban?

I can’t even imagine the horror of drafting Tebow #1 and then seeing him felled by the 55 man roster limit.

Well, how is he supposed to know if he did anything wrong if someone doesn’t beat the shit out of him first?

“I love Rex Ryan as much as the next fan, but a retread is a retread.”

Farmers Only ads have confused a lot of people.

It actually pained me to read.

Though she would clearly like to see Dave in one.

Is this some kind of meta joke, like the soccer-mom version of PFTCommenter? Holy shit I couldn’t read this shit...yet it was just so perfectly bad and lacking in awareness as to strike me as oddly impressive.

This woman hates commas.

this....this is a better synopsis of why we suck than anything you could have written drew. nothing against you, but this lady takes the cake.

We started dating and it was like magic.

My wife was pissed when I unveiled me and my daughter’s duet to “Poison” because I had her (she was almost three at the time) sing the “Me and the crew used to do her,” line. Which, I mean, sure...it may not have been super approrpriate. But it was cute and hilarious and she nailed that line every time.