Ah, the rare “list that should start with getting hit by a truck”...

One of my favorites, though I’ve never used it in conversation because I’m afraid I’d just start laughing halfway through and butcher it.

Be honest, did you get that line from Player Piano?

https://deadspin.com/jameis-winstons-pregame-speech-didnt-do-the-trick-1820178007

Historically, when people shook hands they were checking for weapons so the other person didn’t stab them to death. The meaning of gestures can change over time.

who hasn’t played football in how long now?

Alex smith went 13-3 and won a playoff game with the team that drafted him. The next season he was 8-1 and led the league in completion percentage and was third in QB rating before he got a concussion.

A French press has different pieces that are still “parts” of the machine that “move” relative to each other during normal use. Unless you don’t consider either the filter or the pitcher part of the press, a French press has moving parts. So does a syringe. So does a manual air pump.

You can say that again

And how many 46 y.o. boxers just up and murder 3 people?

“If you’re going to make up an entire false identity, why would you make yourself into a shitty person?” he asked.

Good God those uniforms are painful to look at.

For the sake of my own sanity, I have to believe that Jerry Jones will die soonish. Therefore, I’m tentatively hoping this works and they shitcan Goodell (even though he seems to be on the right side of the protest issue).

Fun is for guys who are too big of pussies to hide from their family at work.

Ok, if the military owns the national anthem, why should it be played at all before a private civilian sporting event? Why is it ever played outside of a military (or maybe governmental) setting? Why does each branch of the military have its own anthem?

Since this award is tainted with the dishonorable actions of the NFL and its players, I cannot accept it.

I only do this if I cook with my big cast iron pan, but that’s more because I’m going to bed by the time it cools down anyway.

I was about to say, if Barry’s argument boils down to, “I personally don’t need that much football”, I think you could reduce the number of games in just about any other major US sports league by at least 30-40% and it would still border on more baseball/hockey/basketball than I need. Let’s be honest, half or more of…

Dude, for real, you have all of my sympathy right now. I think to eat before or after is easily the path of least resistance and the best idea, but never for a second try to convince yourself this isn’t weird. Do they seem like a cheap family in general and this is just an extension, or is it just eating out?

I get that this is a joke, so I’m not busting your balls here, but not only is Houston also a sanctuary city, it’s apparently the most diverse city in the country (which I was surprised to learn).