"Close your eyes and imagine being in the 1%. You're constantly wearing a tuxedo, you splash peasants as you ride by them in your stagecoach, you spend your days working as the cruel overlord of a mill and, on top of all that, you can afford to shell out $10,000 to go to your banker bro's bachelor party in Kiev."

AMEN. I know Jezebel writers love to hate on anything they can't afford (especially when BROS are doing the spending) but most of the activities described sounded AMAZING. Of the four activities you listed, I can't even pick my favorite. Maybe I could drive a Ferrari into a pool that hangs over the street, where my…

Please provide evidence for your statement that conservative women do not sleep around.

Jesus Christ . . . you think Planned Parenthood is "in business" to provide abortions? Approximately 3% of their "business" (i.e., not-for-profit health services to economically disadvantaged women) involves abortions. Even if that ENTIRE THREE PERCENT went away, they would still be in the business of providing…

God you are so bad at this.

Could you please provide some evidence for your statement that Planned Parenthood would go out of business under those circumstances? I assume you have some financial figures and aren't just spouting ridiculous hot garbage out of your ass.

It's strange how much it varies from woman to woman. I'm pretty tough about pain and I vomited during my insertion. Bonus: the insertion failed and I'm still on the pill.

I always get "butch" for "bitch." Which sometimes works just fine.

This drives me nuts! I have an iphone and I'm not aware of a way to add my frequently used profanities to the dictionary.

That's actually a good point. Exercises marketed toward men tend to be the traditional, isolating muscles stuff. Exercises marketed toward women will combine exercises and usually include some weird, different moves. Sometimes I like annoy my old school husband by doing lunges and curls AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm from Michigan and we always called them "up-downs." I wonder who calls them what where (yeah, that sentence makes sense IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT).

Do the stuff that is "for the men." Every time I see a thing for women to slim down they are just dicking around with 6-pound, pink rubber-covered weights. You're not going to build bulk unless you have an unusual amount of testosterone for a woman.

Okay, so you don't know what "phobic" means. Got it.

People have called the father transphobic in other threads. It's sad. It's totally possible the father accidentally "misgendered" b/c he thought of the victim as his son for so many years before finding out that she was transgender.

Can you please stop referring to every person who is not educated as to the proper terminology "transphobic"? I've seen you do it several times on this thread. I live in a small town in the midwest and while the people are generally open and accepting, I assume MOST of them would not know proper terminology to avoid…

Well on the upside we have much cleaner hair than the kids in those movies.

. . . Are you telling me people are still going to law school?

I'm now picturing every GenXer's 20s to be a magical mix of Reality Bites and Empire Records.

I pretty much feel the same way. I graduated from law school in 2010 and ended up with a good paying job at a medium-sized firm (after 4 months of no job and NO SLEEP). It is just a weird combo of hard work and luck.

I agree. I thought it had to do w/ Oprah and first, as did a lot of people on the thread. Conclusion: whoever made this joke is an asshole who is just TERRIBLE at making jokes.