@didntmeanto: But wearing jeans to work may actually be the best part of my job!!!

@xodallas: People keep wanting to know why the SpaceToddler is wearing toenail polish. I simply tell them, "Because he asked me to do it."

Ok, so listen: My baseball team just got swept by a team that changed its name because they felt the word "devil" was alienating their fans.

Well, if my parents are any indication (34 years and counting), the key is to get everyone their own TV.

@WhatYouSayBoutMyMomma: Unless that show is the Amazing Race. Then you are awesome and may end up yelling at a camel at some point.

@morninggloria: Was this guy on one of those landscaping trucks that are always around? I got a "Hey girl, you got a nice fat ass!" from them once.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

If Prince shows up at my door he will get the same reaction as every Jehovah, "If my Grammy can't convert me, there's no way in hell you can buddy."

@Friendly_Milk: "Bouncy-bouncy with his Maw" just made me smile so hard my headache disappeared.

I would have married Charles Bronson's arms back in the day.

It gets worse, the women carrying males fetuses are being injected with a combination of Budweiser and jock sweat.

Taylor Lautner will never not be Shark Boy to me. Thus, creepy.

@Dictator for Life: If you like killer sex scenes I suggest you try out some Susan Johson. Plus she does a ridiculous amount of research into the historical aspects. So much so that her books have footnotes.

When my younger sister was that age she wanted to be a skunk.

@didntmeanto: Oh, you mean like this?

I vaguely recall that any characters on 7th Heaven that even considered sex were immediately stricken with some form of grievous bodily harm.

Gotten into a car with a seriously drunk guy at the wheel. More than once :(

Practically the same thing happened to my friend! Except it was a player that signed her ball. And she wrote a note to him then got an answer back with the clubhouse phone number to call him.

@MagImpalor: The finest film of our generation.

@ning!: OMG I am not losing my mind! I have never mentioned this to anyone lest they call me a semen-sniffing weirdo. Thank you for affirming this.