Can Kathie Lee also explain to me why it takes Rizzo an entire school year to figure out she isn't knocked up?

@BumpinUgglas: I think I love you for this.

@brendastarlet is on it: English? That's one I have never heard before.

All of Western Mass's tourism interests should just get together and get up the funds for a big sign, visible from space, that says, "Please come spend you money here. We don't have funny accents."

Ok, Kate Moss, you had me going until the sparkly jumpsuit. Are you in cahoots with Joaquin?

@andBegorrah: It's charming how you assume it doesn't already exist.

Last night some guy on the other team dislocated his shoulder on his first swing of the game. I would have asked for a picture but I think he would have punched me. With his good arm, of course.

@FireWhenReady: Clearly you have never met my Dad. Watching the 200 lb man with a white guy fro we affectionately call "Bobbo" while away the time with his F-150 will kill any auto mechanic fantasies you may be harboring.

@musicpup: homeward bound: If my understanding is correct, that is exactly what a health-care proxy is, yet the hospital chose to ignore it.

Thanks, Shia. That was a touch more honesty than I was looking for before I have my first cup of coffee.

I can credit this show with making my kindergarten teacher think I was a genius. When we were talking about caterpillars and butterflies one day, I called a cocoon a chrysalis because Muffy had a friend caterpillar for an episode that changed and they called it a chrysalis on the show.

I am not entirely sure what Reese is supposed to be doing here but it looks like fun and I would much rather be rolling around on the ground with my glove than sitting here at my desk.

@Don't Get It Twisted: Seriously, Uma may not have the worst beach body but she certainly has the worst, or least supportive, bikini top.

How do these guys manage to make softball seem so difficult?

@Clarissima: True Story: I live in a neighborhood that has a mix of several cultures that are well endowed in the eyebrow department. I am missing half my eyebrow from my own vigorous picking.

As someone who has recently spent a weekend without a functioning toilet, learn to plunge, people. Learn to snake. Learn to take the whole shitter apart and retrieve the razor attachment your husband dropped in there.

I have those Reef sandals. I would say reaction to them is split pretty evenly between the "That is amazing!" camp and and the "Why would you put the bottom of your shoe on your beer?" camp.

@Ailatan: I was just talking about this yesterday while watching Freaky Friday on TCM. It was wigging me out to hear a grown-up's voice coming out of a child.

So I pick last night to skip recording the Simpsons to watch baseball and the Amazing Race finale.

@porcuPINE: I can't wait to tell my league I took fantasy advice from Jezebel.