What's with crazy blinking lady?

David Ortiz, I swear to god, I will find out where you live and... and... knock over your houseplants. Or something.

That was a nice artful shot of that foul ball rolling away from the field.

At least there was no one on base? I am grasping s straws now.

I smell toast. I think I'm having a stroke or something.

The reanimated corpse of Jason Varitek cannot save us now.

f8uckity fuck fuck fuck

Ballsacks

@Yostal: Oh yay, I love to play the "Who's being ripped off now" game.

@chilltown: No spoilers! I'm recording.

Have the Rays tried getting Meg and Calvin to kythe into Baldelli's DNA to convince his mitochondria to take root and bloom instead of dancing with the dark thing? Charles Wallace could help.

I think the fact that the Rays were willing to pop Pedroia to pitch to Ortiz should be a big, fat fucking wake-up call to Papi.

Evening all. Tonight I have beer and adult company so I am in a much better position that last night.

@The Boy Wonder: Sorry to let you down but I made Pedroia my pretend boyfriend waaay last year.

I spent last night talking to my mom about ornaments and tag sales. I'd say I am already through that looking glass.

@Josh Zerkle: Who are FISH people? I don't understand.

All Red Sox fans are douchebags, pink hat wearing, wife beaters blah blah blah. I've decided that having people I don't know on the internet call me names is an ok trade-off for being a fan of a team that has made me so goddamn happy.

I need to go dip my brain in Bring it On: All or Nothing to decompress from this.

Ho-lee cowzers

I'm getting dizzy from holding my breath.