Make sure you leave it on Vibrate.

If only the plural of anecdote were data.

Imagine if it did though, they really need to re-market themselves.

Basically this, but I managed to make it to the hallway first

“We’ve got nothing to complain about,” Maurice said. “Pretty good life. Every day. Every city’s pretty darn good.”

I don’t think Drew is trying to beat the hourglass so he can turn the pump off, it’s just a game to play to see how fast you can be in and out. Same logic goes for all of us when we do as much shit possible while the microwave is going. We aren’t worried about it fucking exploding, we’re just simple idiots who find…

Fun fact! Not only is the demand for diamonds a marketing invention, but diamonds aren’t actually that rare. Only by carefully restricting the supply has De Beers kept the price of a diamond high.

What I liked most about “USS Callister” is that, in the end, the group is set-up in the classic Star Trek scenario: nothing but a vast, unexplored galaxy to venture into. That by being such a merciless control freak, Daly was missing out on truly living the Space Fleet experience, and his former captives go on to live…

“WAS HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH BOYFRIEND WHEN HE PUT PHONE AND MONEY IN VAGINA”

• BIKE REFLECTOR

Santa Claus has the ability to shrink in order to fit through chimneys. If he can get himself swallowed he can shrink and find his way into the bloodstream. Once he’s in the heart he can enlarge himself and stop the heart thus killing the beast.

(dis)honorable mention: Despacito by Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee and JUSTIN BEIBER. Because what Beiber did to that song was ruin it with his horrible “Spanish”. The original song is sweet perfection tho.

Seriously can’t the Dems find anyone “Progressive” who wasn’t born in the 40s for a run?

Joe keeps saying he needs to apologize. No word on when he’s actually going to do that. I’m not holding out much hope. Because if he ever actually does it, the critics will continue holding him accountable. Saying that he needs to do it buys him time.

+1:100 scale

See, that post didn’t even register in my brain as sounding overly Canadian because my Canadian brain read it as plain English.

I know every letter in the alphabet from eh to zed, and I’ll tell you all aboot the weather... But first let me put on my toque.

The Leafs beat the Oilers 1-0 on Sunday night, by the way.

This is why we call it Kraft Dinner.

What if it’s the traditional values that are degenerating Western society, hmm?

I’d tell them to eat a beyg of of dicks, just to be doubly smarmy about it.

Have you ever looked at the ingredients on a package of Ivory or just instantly fallen for the pure white label? Hint: soap is lye/water + fat/oils. Spoiler alert: Ivory is not “just soap.” Ditto Suave being “just shampoo.”