Virtue demanded a trial by combat, and Trump declared “fire” the champion of the House Trump. He had Virtue suspended from the rafters of the 19th Hole while his caddie lit a blaze beneath him. As he burned, Virtue’s 10 year old son was brought into the throne room, a leather cord attached to a strangulation device…

man our Spider-verse sucks

...who will say crazy things in a restaurant like “I’VE BEEN SAYING MALBECS ARE BAD FOR YEARS” and “I TOLD YOU THE WAITER WAS COMING”

my primary issue with Ant-Man and Wasp is that Scott Lang is a shitty dad. He risked going to prison for the rest of his life where he would only be able to see his daughter through shatterproof glass because the entire plot of the movie couldn’t wait a day and a half?

I’d say there were many fine people on both sides but, I mean,

Which roommate needs more stories:

Log off, Pete.

Oh, right, racists.

There are people other than Pete Rose annoyed by calling Ichiro the True Hit King? 

Or Triple H’s kayfabe marriage to Stephanie McMahon happening while she was drugged. Y’know, for the kids!

this is so sad, Alexa define “bad take”

this is so sad, Alexa define “statistical outlier”

just as an FYI, you can avoid this is PokemonGo by deleting the nickname entirely (leaving the field blank) and then clicking OK. It will reset the Pokemon’s name to its species name. 

best part of the 99 yarder is at about the :40 mark when Gates misses his block and Henry has to stiff arm a third dude to finish off the run

It’s gotta be Lebron James’s Baseless Charge purely on the merits of this line

+1 frantic flush with someone waiting outside the bathroom door

Rodgers should try not having a collarbone made of glass when he’s working behind an offensive line made of turnstiles. 

yeah according to nfl.com, they ran a total of 19 plays in the second half after running literally twice as many (38) in the first half.

I just do what I’m told to do and go out there and execute. Whenever I get an opportunity to do something, I try to make the most of it.