Ryan Reynolds can be put inside my body anytime he likes tbh

After reading Draymond’s rambling, barely coherent explanation, I think it’s pretty clear that the Most Annoying Warriors Player is the friends we made along the way

Someone hoping for Beto to win prayed for “that greasy, sniveling shitweasel to underperform this November” and God picked the wrong one.

The day after he signed with the Lakers, their Finals odds went from 20/1 to 7/2. So if bookies are to be trusted (they’re not), then yeah, he can make any team good. 

parity is overrated. you know what North American league has the most parity? Fucking MLS. if striving for parity means a more homogeneous caliber of game, fuck parity. 

Anthony Davis back at something closer to full health, of course; he went for 25 points, 20 rebounds, 6 assists,

“Bullying, harassment, hazing, verbal and physical abuse, whether in classrooms, hallways and sports, or in any extracurricular activity, will not be tolerated in our schools.”

given that we never see Boban’s feet leave the ground in any of his highlight videos, I’m forced to assume he can simply extend his legs like Inspector Gadget in order to dunk.

who among us hasn’t wanted to live the dream of giving a deposition about that time we were sexually assaulted as a teenager? 

I don’t think he’s mad, I think he’s a generally grumpy asshole who got his talent snaked away from him, but understands that the kid is better off taking the “internship.” He’s mostly just admitting in as curmudgeonly a way as possible that he got out-recruited by a semi-retired Lebron.

Rutgers just keep making mistakes. Hauer they this bad?

it seems to draw in a certain type of person. they don’t compete against each other, they compete against whatever big fucking rock they’re trying to climb. the only person they’re trying to prove anything to is themselves.

if your argument is that there’s a semantic difference between rape and sexual assault, your argument is shitty and you should shut the fuck up

it’s strange that it took so long; Spielberg thought casting for West Side Story would be a snap

unfortunately the casting has gone to Elgort’s head and he’s pretty khaki about it. 

3 games is ultimately too small of a sample size to truly regress to the mean, so yeah, he’ll probably start next week. 

I guess New England had a few too many guys that are real coaches on the field.

rest doesn’t necessarily mean sleep. maybe he just kind of dicked around heaven a little bit. had a bowl of cereal, unloaded the dishwasher, watched a movie on cable. you know, lazy Sunday stuff. 

Bill Belichick has announced that she will be on the bench for this week’s game against the Lions.

how can you bring up Takis without shouting out these baller-ass kids?