Seriously though, lowering a giant screen and playing a video of Prince’s halftime show would be infinitely better than literally anything else.

Suicide by Westbrook is my death metal Kendrick Lamar cover band.

are there going to be 4 basketballs (1 for Harden, 1 for Westbrook, and 2 for Jordan because of his need to placated) on the court in this hypothetical?

Bridgewater is more of a good luck charm than a quarterback at this point. He stays on the roster specifically as the proverbial Gipper Minnesota’s supposed to win one for.

i’m not saying Bill Belichick was on the grassy knoll, but there’s no evidence that he wasn’t, either.

+1 melancholy powerbomb through your folding table

Kevin Love is the white Kristaps Porzingis

Lebron picking Westbrook AND Durant?

maybe the guards can get trained on a medical procedure involving a prostate exam administered via nightstick.

“Once TAWM BRADY is done KICKIN THE SHIT out of the GODDAMN Eegles, he’s gonna put on a green jersey and show those NBA goons how it’s gawddamn done”

live action Full Metal Alchemist. I don’t even watch anime and I know that shit. git gud, scrub.

the writers around here are letting loose some classic goddamn Kinja lately.

also, the women standing up in this courtroom over the past week are brave as hell and I look forward to the spike in MSU’s tuition as lawsuits start to pay out.

how many packs of smokes does Bubba from Cell Block D bill Nassar for his “treatments?”

I think Pats fans have shown us that it’s entirely possible (if entirely lacking in self-awareness) to play the victim even as the best team.

The Applebee’s from this Buzzfeed article is the closest one to me. I took my mom there once (her idea) and had to wait 15 minutes to be seated despite an entire section being empty. The hostess told us that section was closed due to what I can only assume was a lack of staffing. We ended up sitting at the bar rather…

in a related story, the goalie’s coach immediately screamed at him to “GET OVER HERE” after giving up that goal

you might even said he rocked that goalkeeper like a hurricane.